Every day there are more supporters of raising their children in a positive manner, the richest form of growth at home and in the family, since it is based on conscious listening, empathizing, and offering alternatives so that our children can freely choose the best option and always, trying to do it with patience and love.
It is not a magic formula, and although instinct plays a very important role, it is essential that all parents stay informed about this methodology, so in this article we are going to review a series of tips that we consider essential:
1. Educating with firmness as well as kindness, is one of the maxims of positive discipline, in order to direct learning towards self-construction and not towards guilt.
2. Change the NO to Why or What for ?, in this way you are not saying yes, you are making them think why yes; There is a statistic that indicates that children hear an average of 400 noes a day … enough, don’t you think?
3 Take into account their feelings, they are important to them and their way of feeling the experiences they have acquired, so listen to them actively and make it clear that what they feel is important to you too, without overcrowding negative feelings, such as when they get angry with a friend and cry: “instead of asking them not to cry over nonsense, give them an alternative to that situation.”
4. Change the punishment for the reward, since it is proven that they learn more easily when they are positively reinforced, in addition, that the punishments do not always give good results because they get used to it and lose the desired effect.
For example, if we know that what we are going to ask them costs a lot or we sense that they are going to refuse (starting homework, taking a bath …), we can stimulate them by means of a reward agreed in advance.
The positive always attracts the positive.
5. Always try to be patient, although we know that many times it will be difficult for you, because just as you keep making mistakes and learning, they have many mistakes and lessons to learn, it is part of their learning; The ideal is to accompany them in an empathic way, letting them know that if they need us we will always be there.
6. Children need to feel loved and protected, help them to have a good image of themselves by reinforcing their self-esteem to avoid insecurities.
Praise them whenever they do something good, comment on how proud you are of things that are important to them and that they do well, such as homework, and downplay their weaknesses.
7. Do not make comparisons, each child is unique and wonderful. Do not fall into comparisons with others, and reinforce their differentiation.
8. Maintain a climate of trust. If you lie to your child once, he will think you do it more times; And show him that he can trust you, that you know how to keep his secrets and understand his problems.
9. Give them small plots of their own decisions, that will make them grow with autonomy and self-esteem, maintaining limits in order to internalize rules that give them security on their way.
10. Express and transmit positively; communicating assertively with our children will give them security and confidence.
For example, instead of using “always” or “never”, try to express more with “this time”, which always provides a possible solution to the situation.
If we look for a positive reaction, we transmit positive.
11. Keep an active listening; We already know that communication is the basis of any relationship, and conscious listening is a fundamental part.
The education that you give your children now directly influences how they will be as adults, not only on a cultural level, but on a personal level, which is even more important, because the values they have internalized will be those that define how they interpret life, his happiness and in part, his future.
Do you dare to educate positively?